Proving Grounds Session 6?
Cast:
Michael the Elf, 1st level wizard (me)
Normantwo, 1st level thief
Normanthree, 1st level wizard
Friar Ignatius Bodkin, 2nd level cleric
Garfield Heyday, 1st level fighter (late-joining)
Capslok, 4HD hippopotamus
This post was written primarily with dictation software, so it and I can share the blame equally for any errors.
Report:
It was to be our final excursion to the Proving Grounds, searching once again for the dung of a great gray bear (for a ritual on behalf of one of our not-present companions) and extracting what little wealth we knew remained within the dungeon. Using the knowledge from our last excursion, we attempted to wait for the bear in question to leave its personal exit to the temple so we could sneak in afterwards into a bear-free environment. Unfortunately meat we had purchased to distract the stirges also attracted the bear, and we found ourselves beset upon by the gigantic beast. Normantwo was struck down unceremoniously as Michael and Ignatius fled to the main dungeon entrance, leaving them hoping that they would find a convenient replacement companion in the dungeon.
Since this wasn't enough to stop us, we opted to take the long way to our original destination, hoping the bear would be distracted. We tried to loop through a former sumo-beetle ring, but found now that the room was vacated by them it was now inhabited by two black bears. We immediately closed the door on them and fled, watching them give chase as we ducked into a now empty room that formerly had a laser-eye statue and beyond a wet drawing-room. Encountering eight angry stirges, we suddenly recalled that this was the same set of rooms we had lost 2 people to just our last visit. With this in mind, we fled through, hoping the bears would fight the stirges and the stirges would maybe leave us alone. Only 3 of the stirges followed us in the hallway, and we quickly found ourselves met by our new companion of coincidence, Normanthree, who we welcomed into our band after he put the stirges to sleep.
The bears following us routed the stirges in the other room, but only chased us for a short while as we fled towards a distant meat locker we assumed may be safe. Fortunately for us, there was only 2 carcass crawlers giant centipedes that seemed content to munch on the left-behind rotting corpses. We scoured the room for a bit and found some ogre-made vambraces. Finding our way cut out by the centipedes, we opted to go up further into the former lair of the ogre cult. Searching another room formerly filled with cultists reading their homemade reading material, we found some loose change and many examples of said material. Because we felt like we hadn't been chased enough, we meandered into the next room where several ogre cultists were pumping iron. They immediately recognized Friar Ignatius as the enabler of their leaders' demise, then rushed to attack. Normanthree set a veil of darkness across the room to obscure their vision as we fled once again into the hallways. 4 cultists followed us directly as 4 more split off to the way we had previously entered the room. We turned route and prepared to fight, Normanthree coating the floor with ice to cause them to slip into our hippopotamus-powered frontline. Capslok, Ignatius, and the suddenly appearing Garfield each dispatched a cultist, causing the last to flee. The planned pincer attack audibly failed as the numb for other cultistsThe planned pincer attack audibly failed as the 4 other cultists ran into the carcass crawlers giant centipedes.
Deciding that we were done being chased, we decided to go find the loud, screaming mask we knew about so that it could attract more hostile encounters for us to run away from. With two wizards of Great Intellect in the group, it was guaranteed for one of us to know the language of the strange object. We found it without issue, and upon removing it discovered that its screams were it asking to be put back onto the giant stone face it rested upon. Normanthree spoke to it in its tongue, and it refused our questions due to randomly hating our guts and not being its master. After a bit of time (2 turns) on the floor, it changed its tune a bit, telling us where the magic swords we sought (from an earlier rumor) lie. Now we just needed to find the biggest and greatest altar in the place. After some more waffling about, we suddenly remembered a Large Stone Face we had previously seen in a room that would now be devoid of its former occupants, conveniently on the way to the great bear and hopefully some magic swords. Taking the mask there, we met back up with the 2 bears from earlier, who opted to attack immediately. After being burned by Michael's dark sorcery and hit by Normanthree's staff, one bear fell and the other cautiously fled.
Shuffling into the room we intended to go to, we found none other than Zex and his party (Astelle and Grungle) already poking at the giant stone face we intended to also poke at. We completely failed at pulling the wool over their eyes and diverting them elsewhere, and Zex pressed the mask against the giant face, causing a new doorway to a very-visible pile of treasure with a statue behind it to appear. Zex the Very Important went first after some goading, and got hit with laser-eyes for his trouble. Unfortunately, he was not instantly evaporated, and instead we had to argue with their party for a bit about using Capslok as a meat shield. Eventually, Astelle covered the statue's eyes with a targeted layer of darkness, and Friar Ignatius entered the room to see if it would do the trick. Finding that it did, he and Grunkle cleared it as we started to talk about dividing the new gains. After much grumbling, it was settled to use Zex's suggestion of one magic item for each group and a biased split of gold towards our party. Zex's group ended up with 400gp and a magic mace, and our group ended up with 800gp and a very magic golden lamp. After deliberating whether or not to murder them now or not, we eventually opted to move on to grab the golden statue that remained in the dungeon before heading out. We would finally going the way we intended to go in the first place before we were chased by black bears. We snuck through the room filled with feces of all kinds before arriving at the statue, tying it to Capslok, and unceremoniously dragging it back the way we came out of the dungeon.
Out of an (over)abundance of caution, the lamp was brought to Shibouli, the leader of the Church of Muscle, whom we had befriended previously when we kidnapped his daughter on his behalf (after she tried to attack us). Upon seeing the lamp, Shibouli insisted that Friar Ignatius visit him alone, and bring the lamp so he could identify it on our behalf. Ignatius went, and Garfield followed (but was barred entry to the meeting), whereupon Shibouli revealed what we suspected. The lamp was in fact a genie lamp, and still had two wishes left, but Shibouli would be keeping it for himself/the Church of Muscle in case some "great threat" later appeared. As consolation, he wished for Perfect Muscularity for himself and his disciple, Friar Ignatius. Down two wishes, up one ripped cleric.
With the great bear the final challenge remaining, we set our eyes on Thracia. Or maybe we would challenge the bear for its dung anyways, even though it was unclear to us why we would fight the bear for its dung when we could just take its dung without fighting it.